Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
