just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
