anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
