I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
