This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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