I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
high people should be assigned attendants
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
