Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
