even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
