We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize