Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
