SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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