nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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