It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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