Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
