Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
