Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
