Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
