worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
