Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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