sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're a waste of cheezeits
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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