You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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