I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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