so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
