Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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