Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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