I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
