I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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