What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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