I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
