i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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