I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the condom got lost in my hair
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
