You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
