I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
