so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
