Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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