So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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