Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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