I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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