It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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