Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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