i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
