hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
