Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
