Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
