belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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