Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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