I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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