idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
