i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
