just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
