I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
