yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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