Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
