shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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