bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
