the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
