if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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