so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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