this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
