Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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