kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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