Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize