I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
