if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
