Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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