I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
