Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
