sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
