what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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