I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
