ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
