I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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