He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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