Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
